In an unjust world …

Are you a grudge-holder. Do you go around making lists of everything that is unfair in the world? If so, you are participating in an age-old practice that is linked to our evolutionary history, according Nando Pelusi in "Injustice collecting" in Psychology Today magazine.

Nando says that it’s particularly difficult to let go of grudges because there are high emotional payoffs. This, he says, is a sensible motive because our ancestors had a huge investment in making sure they got their fair share in the ancient world—a place where unfairness could result in the death of you and all the people in your voluntary collective. This gives humans a reason to be hypervigilant when it comes to uncovering cheaters or swindlers.

Injustice collecting, however, entails more than resentment toward those who are benefiting unjustly. It is, as Nando points out, resentment building on a mass scale. We become outraged when the world isn’t absolutely fair, and this can lead to unending anger, hopelessness and depression. It is also a way to avoid responsibility for our personal circumstances. But how do we change something that seems to be so hard-wired into our systems? Nando makes these suggestions for giving up a grudge and moving on:

• Make a list of injustices. Write down the things that weigh on your mind. This will get your mind to focus in a productive way.
• Stop thinking in all-or-nothing terms. Nando suggests asking yourself whether the injustice you are experiencing has to affect all aspects of your life. Try to see how the injustice might help you find a new direction or live in a different and better way.
• Ask yourself if your life can still be meaningful— despite the injustice. If not, Nando says you have to realize you are making a choice to refuse to get over something.
• Will being upset change your situation?Ask your-self this question if you seem stuck in a quagmire of your own anger.
• Frame your situation accurately. Is something really unfair—or just annoying? Keeping perspective is key if you want to move on.
• Realise that you are going to come across unfair situations. When you do, decide you want to act. Make a decision how you will handle these circum-stances in the future.
• Question how much this matter will affect you in the grand scheme of things. Try not to fall victim to the temptation of wallowing in grief over something that just doesn’t matter that much.